


Just Add Water

by lemonadas



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: M/M, idk - Freeform, murder me for this abomination i beg u
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28259634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonadas/pseuds/lemonadas
Summary: “Well, you know where I’ll be.”“In the clutches of greed?”or: an after-sex conversation between ancap and nazi
Relationships: Ancap/Nazi
Comments: 18
Kudos: 58





	Just Add Water

**Author's Note:**

> this kinda sux i'm warning you but: basically ancap has Emotions TM and has memorized their "after-sexcourse" routine down to the minute, and nazi's being nazi

**To be frank, neither of them really knew what they were.**

“So…”

“So.”

**The seed had been planted somewhere they didn’t even know, and it grew into this…** _**thing** _ **that they didn’t actually talk about.**

“That was… new.”

**Or think about.**

“New?”

“New.”

**They were aware of** _**it** _ **– knew it existed, yet didn’t really** _**interact** _ **with it.**

“Was it good or bad?”

**Didn’t think they needed to.**

“It was… new.”

**White noise, sort of.**

“Huh.”

**Yet, here they were on Ancap’s bed for the third time this week, and Ancap’s thinking of what to say next to get Nazi to stay a little longer.** _ **Five minutes longer.**_ _**Fifteen minutes longer.**_ _**All the minutes Nazi had to spare.**_

“You bit me too hard over here.”

“Where?”

**Ancap’s wondering if he should say** _**it.** _

“Over here, look. It’s all purple.”

“It doesn’t look that bad.”

“I think you’re getting carried away with the biting.”

**Thinking of finally uprooting it from its grassy soil, and laying it on their table for dinner.**

“You don’t like it?”

“Well, I can’t say I don’t _enjoy_ it, but—”

“I know how to tame these fangs, don’t worry.”

“Sure you do.”

“Well, did it hurt?”

**He believes it’s harvest season.**

“A bit.”

“What do you want me to do about it? Kiss it better?”

**_Is it though?_ **

“Shut up.”

“You know I’d love to. C’mere.”

“Your degeneracy is showing.”

**Well, the conversation seems to be going well.**

“Really? You, the man I just finished having sex with about five minutes ago… telling _me_ about _degeneracy?_ ”

“Don’t call it that.”

“What? Degeneracy?”

“ _Sex._ ”

**Sort of.**

“What’re we calling it then? An _afternoon delight?_ ”

“A… business deal.”

“You don’t pay me anymore, statist.”

**He really didn’t. Ever since that night when they both got drunk on store-bought** _**Kölsch,** _ **and did it on the balcony on a whim, they realized how much better the sex was when Ancap wasn’t too busy pretending that he needed to be paid first to like it, and Nazi wasn’t being a complete turn-off by reminding Ancap every five seconds how much he was paying.**

“Shouldn’t have needed to in the first place.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing.”

**Not that word. Ancap hated that word.**

“No, no. I genuinely want to know what you meant by that. ‘Shouldn’t have needed to’? What, like I would’ve just given you _the goods_ right away?”

“I hate the way you… name things, d’you know that?”

“Not the point.”

“I’m not making any point. It’s nothing.”

“Oh, but there’s always something with you, Nazi.”

“Not always.”

**And there they go – the grumbling sounds of Nazi’s walls surrounding him after a brief moment of vulnerability. Always on time.**

“Well, there might be right now if you just—”

“It’s _nothing_ , Ancap.”

_**Crack** _ **goes the arrow that hits Ancap right between the ribs.**

“Alright.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

**These things always happen too fast. He** _**swears** _ **he gets whiplash.**

“Are you leaving now?”

“In a bit. I have an arrangement with Commie.”

**Ah,** _**Commie.** _ **Nazi’s filthy favorite.**

“Arrangement?”

“Grocery duty, remember? It’s Saturday. Second week of the month.”

“Right, that.”

**Red statist’s idea. Apparently, something as simple as buying food every two weeks had to be done routinely by everyone in pairs. It wasn’t enjoyable when Ancap had to go with Commie. It was just argument after argument about how** _**the market is purposely hiking up the prices of basic goods,** _ **or whatever other bullshit the Russian pulled out of his ushanka. Meanwhile, Ancom was better company (though, quee did have a tendency to pick the more expensive vegan alternatives that nobody else wanted to eat). And Nazi…**

“Do you need me to get you anything?”

“What?”

“From the store.”

“Mm, shaving cream, perhaps? I’m going through my last tube.”

“Anything else?”

_**You.** _

“I’ll just text you if more stuff comes to mind.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

**Then silence. A familiar thing. And Nazi was still here, surprisingly. Still undressed. Still next to him. Still right where he belonged. And Ancap still wasn’t doing anything about it.**

“Same time tonight?”

“Huh?”

“Us.”

**The word leaves Nazi’s mouth** _**so easily** _ **that Ancap doubts if the man even knew what it meant.**

“Well, you know where I’ll be.”

“In the clutches of greed?”

“Oh, ha-ha. You’re so _funny_. My little funny man. My silly, little fascist running off to join the circus.”

**A smile breaks out on Nazi’s lips. It’s small, but Ancap sees it.**

“Shut the fuck up, capitalist.”

“Your… _silly, little_ capitalist?”

“Little?”

“You could fit me in your shirt pocket if you wanted to.”

“Yes, I’m sure it’s little enough to fit there just fine.”

“It?”

_**Oh**_ **. He was talking about** _**that.** _

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue, anarchist?”

“I abhor you. I _absolutely_ abhor you.”

“Thank you.”

“Get out of my bed.”

_**Don’t. Not yet.** _

“I’ll be right back in here in a few hours anyway. Don’t rush me.”

**Nazi doesn’t know how oddly sweet that sounds. He doesn’t know anything.**

“Fair point, but I was thinking of changing the rendezvous venue to your room tonight.”

“What, why?”

_**Because it’s better when the bed smells like you.** _

“Because this is _my_ house, and we do what I say we do when we’re in it.”

“Very authoritarian of you, compatriot.”

**Oh, Rand. A smirking fascist shouldn’t be that pretty.**

“ _Fuck_. You’re rubbing off on me.”

“Not the first time.”

“Don’t even mention that _pipeline_ thing you keep blabbering about.”

“It’s true.”

**How long has it been? About 20 minutes?**

“Yes, well, my back hurts.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I think you broke something.”

“Again, not the first time.”

“ _Leave._ ”

**He needs to stop saying that.**

“In a minute. You actually wore me out.”

“Good to know.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

**Another silence. One that’s more comfortable than earlier, but it doesn’t last long.**

“Nazi, you know what we should start doing?”

“What?”

“Kissing, and I don’t mean during sex. _After_.”

**They never really** _**touched** _ **each other after the sex. Nazi didn’t like being held, and Ancap had already tried a few times to change that. No avail.**

“…Why?”

“I just think it’ll make things less awkward.”

“Are they awkward now?”

“What do you think?”

**Nazi doesn’t respond right away, and Ancap thinks it’s the end of the conversation, but—**

“No, I don’t think it’s awkward. I don’t think it’s ever been awkward since the first time.”

“Which has been, what? A millennia ago?”

**Ah, their first time… when Nazi actually** _**paid** _ **Ancap to play Call of Duty with him (the lonely little booger), and the gaming session got sidetracked into… Come to think of it, Ancap doesn’t even remember who grabbed who first.**

“My point is that it’s not awkward for me.”

“Kissing would be nice.”

“What?”

“I said, _kissing would be nice,_ but you’re too concerned about not diluting your gene pool with capitalist cooties to even consider agreeing with me on that.”

“What are you talking about?”

_**Kiss me, you stupid authoritarian.** _

“Look, I… You know what? Just forget I brought anything up that involves you and your irrational fear of showing affection.”

“Do you just want me to kiss you?”

**The question hits Ancap out of nowhere. For a second, he doesn’t know how to respond.**

“Well, would you?”

“Do you _want_ me to?”

“ _Would_ you?”

**They stare at each other for a few seconds, and Ancap isn’t even sure if he was breathing because Nazi doesn’t say anything when he hovers over the capitalist to briefly press their lips together. Quick, and quiet, and it catches Ancap off-guard that he doesn’t immediately react.**

“Well?”

“What?”

“Are you going to shut the fuck up now?”

“Y—… _You_ shut up. Fucking statist.”

_**Where the fuck did that come from?** _

“Your lips are dry.”

“Well, it’s cold in here. I told you to turn down the A/C before you took your clothes off.”

“Too far away, and I thought we were in a hurry. Just go put some socks on.”

“ _You just kissed me_.”

“I’m aware of that.”

**It ran on repeat in Ancap’s mind.**

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why did you kiss me?”

“You asked me to.”

“No, I did n—… Well.”

“Didn’t you want me to?”

**_That_ was new. Well, it was and it wasn’t. Nazi had his fair share of moments where he was tender and tame, but the man had a history of… aggressiveness during their _sexcapades_ as well.**

“I… did.”

“Then what are all these questions for?”

“Because I didn’t think you would.”

“…Why?”

“Because! You’re… you _condemn_ these kinds of things. People hand you a single ounce of intimacy, and your first instinct is to _breed it out of existence_ or whatever. You’d rather see me get burnt on a pike rather than look at me in public, and now you’re… you’re suddenly _kissing me in my bed_.”

“When did I say that?”

“Say what?”

“The _see you get burned than look at you_ thing.”

“You didn’t have to. Some things don’t need to be said in order to be true.”

“I’m just... confused right now...”

“What? _You’re_ confused?”

“Look, did you or did you not want me to kiss you?”

**Ancap thinks he’s about to explode.**

“I did!”

“Then what are you going off about?”

“I don’t know! Maybe I just wanted it to have meant something!”

**Silence. It’s tense this time, and it goes on for a full minute before Ancap senses a shift of movement beside him.**

“You know what? I think… I think I should leave. I still have to shower, and I don’t want that Slavic fuck lecturing me about being punctual.”

**Here they were, _finally_. The great conclusion after 35 minutes. A new record.**

“…Yes, I think you should go.”

“Going.”

“Have fun on your authoritarian date. Remember to use protection, and kill each other in the dairy aisle.”

“Fuck off.”

“Close the door on your way out.”

“Sure.”

“Great.”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you tonight.”

“Not looking forward to it.”

“Whatever.”

**And just like that: Nazi gets up, puts his clothes on, and shuts the door behind him without another word. Without even a glance.**

And Ancap still didn’t know what they were.

**Author's Note:**

> i told u
> 
> but: comments are appreciated aha


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